You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
