my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
