if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Randomize
