Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
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