so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
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found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
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You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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