Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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