I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
