What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
Randomize
