Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Randomize
