Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
He had one of those small greek statue penises
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
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