Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize