you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Randomize
