Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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