Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
