Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
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