im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
can u get pink eye on your cock?
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
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