It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Randomize
