Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
Randomize
