i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
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