So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
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