But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
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