Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
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