YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Randomize
