ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize