Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Randomize
