Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
