Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
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