First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
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Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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