Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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