i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
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