at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
