You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Randomize
