In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
