it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize
