dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
you will always have a special place in my vag
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
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