Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
