I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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