My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
My ATM looks so different sober.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize
