Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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