This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Blow job season was short but glorious.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
