We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
Randomize
