I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize
