I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
Randomize
