You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
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