My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
