I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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