I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Randomize
