This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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