he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Randomize
