I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Randomize
