Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
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