i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
