I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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