you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
