Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Randomize
