My brain says no but my pants say off.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Randomize
