just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
