garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Randomize
