I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
