we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
The cops high fived after they tackled you
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