If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize