AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
Randomize
