Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Randomize
