i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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