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• (616): View more from Michigan

  Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband

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• (704): View more from North Carolina

  We named our party play list daddy issues

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• (804): View more from Virginia

  NEVER shave your cleavage hair.

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• (765): View more from Indiana

  well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.

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  Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags

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• (251): View more from Alabama

  As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"

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• (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already

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• (828): View more from North Carolina

  then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge

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• (845): View more from New York

  you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage

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• (618): View more from Illinois

  Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....

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  21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers

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• (586): View more from Michigan

  I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.

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• (661): View more from California

  Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.

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• (307): View more from Wyoming

  he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.

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• (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?

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• (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.

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• (320): View more from Minnesota

  I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.

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