I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
