I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.