Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(330): View more from Ohio

Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin

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(907): View more from Alaska

i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me

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(954): View more from Florida

So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.

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(214): View more from Texas

would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry

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19 Cringe-worthy Bachelorette Party Texts
Read it at the TFLN blog
(310): View more from California

my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.

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(704): View more from North Carolina

but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?

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(541): View more from Oregon

I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.

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(484): View more from Pennsylvania

We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.

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(303): View more from Colorado

2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year

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