yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
